Cracked me up this morning.

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Posted via email from kris.freedain | Comment »

my Mom sent me this in email. Had to share.

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If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children’s science exam answers…  Q: Name the four seasons. 
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. 

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. 
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.  Q: How is dew formed? 
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. 

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?   (Brilliant, love this!) 
A: Keep it in the cow.  Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? 
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. 

Q: What are steroids? 
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs…  Q: What happens to your body as you age? 
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental 

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? 
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.   (The kid gets an A+ for this answer!) Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. 
A: Premature death. 

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen) 
A: The body is consisted into three parts — the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.  Q: What is the fibula? 
A: A small lie. 

Q: What does ‘varicose’ mean?   (I do love this one…) 
A: Nearby.  Q: Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarian Section.’ 
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome . 

Q: What does the word ‘benign’ mean?’ 
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

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